Day 1

Unprecedented is a word that has been thrown around so much the last three years, but it continues to apply. Day one of Official Social Distancing has been calm so far. I decided to make up a loose schedule for the kids to preserve both continuity and sanity. I think we did pretty well.

We started off later than I had planned. Luke came into my room at 3:30 in the morning to say that his tummy hurt. I was prepared for the worst and nervous about him being on the new bed. I decided it was probably acid re-flux from post nasal drip and gave him a tums, which he said was spicy. I do not know. Anyway, so I slept in a bit because I was up with Luke for a while on top of my anxious insomnia.

The first thing we did this morning was math, reading, and writing workbooks.
Luke practiced his name and address.

I used a trick from my old job, magic stones.  Each time the kids did something helpful or a good job, they got a stone in their jar. Every time they had to be redirected, I got to take one back. The stakes are high. Whoever has the most stones by Saturday afternoon gets to choose our evening movie! I'm really pulling for Doug here honestly, because I CANNOT watch 'Planes Fire & Rescue' again.

These Star Wars workbooks are great. I don't have any action shots of Doug working because he did most of his work independently.

Counting and a number line! We're working on counting to thirty.

We had a bit of a break and did a puzzle. I swept and mopped the kitchen floor last week for this very reason. Luke was pretty excited. He did have to be redirected a few times back to the puzzle, so I see where the ADHD might be.

We had a nice family lunch together since Jeff is home now too. After lunch, Doug and I began to work again on his 'God & Family' cub scout badge. I think it might take us into next week if we break each section into halves. He is learning a lot though and it is fun to actually teach him about the bible. He asks very good questions.

 After lunch we did PE/recess/get the hell out of the house. Today I set up an obstacle course. The kids each had three turns and ran it timed. Luke flew through the tunnel, which Doug had to basically pull on and off like a dress (it was HYSTERICAL) but lost time over all because his legs are so short.

 Then we got their bike and scooter out and they rode around for a bit. We were outside for an hour overall, with the goal in mind of wearing them out. I think I over achieved there, because Luke was just so DONE by bed time.

We came back inside for some arts and crafts. Luke used markers to color a wood craft from  Michael's that has a battery operated candle in it. Doug opted to start something on canvas.

Our science experiment today was brief. We put pepper in water to simulate germs and then soap on their fingers to simulate how soap repels germs. I think they got it and it seemed super timely. 

We did some yoga on you tube, kid's cosmic yoga. They picked a Pokemon themed one tonight. They did pretty well. They got a bit rowdy towards the end, but after how stressed we've all been, I can't really blame them.

Overall, I think I managed to strike the right balance between work and leisure and fun today. They didn't spend the day in front of screens (absolutely NO judgement here, you do you) and they didn't try to kill each other and I didn't have an urge to force choke anyone. This is going to be our structure until we hear otherwise now. I don't imagine this will stop soon. Be safe and well!

Spend, Save, Give

      I wish I could take credit for this idea, but I can't and I don't remember where I first read/heard about it. Our pastor last Sunday gave a good sermon about tithing and fiscal responsibility, which jarred this idea about of my memory banks. So many adults struggle with money issues. We teach our children lots of things, but not routinely about money. So why not start some financial responsibility when they're young?

Anyway, the idea is simple. Get three jars (or in our case use one Batman bank we already have) and label one 'Spend' (Batman) one 'Save'  (although ''Save' seems more appropriate for Batman, no?) and the third 'Give'. I don't know how most people give their kids money, but at 4, I feel that Doug is a little young for an allowance. What does happen is this: I get change in my wallet. I do not like change in my wallet as it makes my wallet and then purse heavier to carry. So then usually at some point in the week, I dump all of my change out on the table and Doug runs in Golm like to collect it. Jeff will do the same thing too.

So the other night we emptied out Batman and explained the procedure to Doug. At the end of the year, Jeff will either open a savings account for Doug at his credit union or we'll stick the 'Save' money in his college fund. The 'Spend' money can be spent however Doug sees fit. He did mention wanting to save up for a Lego set (surprising). The 'Give' we'll give to a charity of Doug's choice at the end of Advent. Doug likes and has given to Ronald McDonald House in the past, so I imagine he'll pick that again. The 'Save' and 'Spend' jars got a pretty even distribution of coins. But you know what? Doug put the most in 'Give' (he's passionate about Ronald McDonald house, or as he calls it "for the sick kids in the hospital!!!". He's been very excited about this so far and I think this will be a good on going project for him.

Against the Grain

We've made some difficult decisions lately. I won't get into that here, but I'll only say that we did what we believed was right for our family. As I was considering our options this week, I began to remember some of the times I've had to make difficult decisions and the consequences of doing what I believe to be right. The following is one of my all time favorite stories.

Picture it:  April Fools day at a Catholic all girls school, a group of second semester freshmen going to their after lunch English class taught by a woman who was rumored to throw freshmen out the window. I'm pretty sure she never had a parking spot. She chose to park her broom in the closet in her room. Anyway, the girls got there early, as freshmen are wont to do. Some of them thought it would be absolutely hilarious to hide from the teacher in the near by stairwell. I am a fair judge of character, in my opinion, and I did not believe this teacher would be amused in the slightest. Not. At. All. Anyway, the girls decided to go and hide and I dithered a moment before deciding to go sit down in the classroom. I knew the teacher wouldn't be amused and I decided I just didn't want any part of it. A few other girls were unsure about the prank, but ultimately decided to go along with the group. A few minutes later the teacher entered the room, she looked around and asked me if we had class or not. I said or squeaked "yes". She asked me if I knew where my classmates went and I said no (I actually didn't know, the location of the staircase was picked before I got to the group). So she stormed off looking for the class. She found them very quickly and as I predicted, she was pretty pissed.

That incident became rather notorious. I imagine she is still telling freshmen about this group of girls that hid from her.

I've never been one to "just go along with the group".  It goes against the grain of my character.

NFL Sundays

Once upon a time, I used to pity people who had to watch football games on Sundays. It takes at least a three hour chunk out of your weekend, you need to plan around it. And Monday night games? Be prepared to be exhausted Tuesday morning. And for what? To watch a bunch of overpaid men-children throw a ball and to see countless beer and car commercials? Seems ridiculous! 

That started changing for us last season. We had invited my Grandma over for dinner. Unbeknownst to me, it was the last game of the Skin's regular season. It may have been make or break for them to get into the play-offs (probably). Anyway, I realized that I was going to have to plan dinner around the game, that is unless I wanted to be written out of her will. So we did just that, I managed to time dinner for half time, and we recorded the game on our dvr, just in case. Doug loved it. He snuggled up with my Grandma on our couch and was riveted by the game. The next weekend, he was asking if we could watch some more football, so we watched the Redskins playoff game (Doug was seriously concerned about RGIII, watching him getting hurt and all). And then the next weekend he wanted to watch more football. The Redskins having been eliminated we decided to watch the Baltimore Ravens, and we watched them all the way to the superbowl. 

In the off season, we decided that we would primarily root for the Baltimore Ravens. Our county is after all a suburb of Baltimore rather than Washington. It also seemed fair. Jeff's family roots for the Kansas City Chiefs and mine for the Redskins. This seemed like a fair compromise, not favoring one family over the other. 

We had a nice time watching football as a family this season. We had some very relaxing Sundays. We'd get up and go to Sunday school and church and then come home and have lunch and watch the Ravens. No running around to the store or other errands. Just the three of us cheering on the Ravens and sometimes the Chiefs together. 

I learned a lot about football this year and grew to really like it. People who have known me most of my life now look at me like I have three heads when I start to talk about football. But it is an interesting game, not unlike chess in many ways. I am apparently also very loud when I watch football. On more than one occasion Doug has told me to stop yelling. I still have no idea what the point of an onside kick is though. 

I'm looking forward to watching the Super Bowl, just the three of us on the couch , with some yummy snacks. 

Maybe next year it'll be the Ravens or Chief's year.

One of the few times a Chiefs game was broadcast in our area. We got to watch the Chiefs and the Ravens back to back this day.

Under the Influence

I was at a bible study the other night watching a video discussion about the early church. One of the people in the video made a reference to "the One" and then said she felt like she was in the Matrix. I was the only one who laughed. And if you're familiar with my laugh, you know it's rather loud and braying. One of the moderators in the bible study made it worse by making a reference to the Borg. Yet again, I was the only one who found that amusing (and loudly). As I was driving home, I began to wonder what had happened to bring me over into the geek side.

Before I met Jeff, I did toe the geek line a good bit. I've always loved to read, and I am intrigued by science fiction (but I don't read science fiction, don't ask it just works out that way). I mean, I'd seen Star Wars and Star Trek, and enjoyed them, but I never actively sought out those movies or shows. I've been a fan of Harry Potter since the third book (my all time favorite) was published. I enjoyed 'The Hobbit' which I read in middle school. All the elements were there, but it just wasn't quite enough to push me over to the other side.

Then enter Jeff. He was 25 when we met and I was 22. He definitely was in need of refinement. He once wiped his nose on a linen napkin at a restaurant. We've had many discussions about that incident since, but he still doesn't quite get it. He's  becoming more social since my intervention. I introduced him to the 'Inheritance Cycle' by Christopher Paolini (I still have not read that beast of a fourth book). I also introduced him to the 'Hunger Games'. But that pretty much ends my influence on him.

Jeff has way more influence on my tastes. He introduced me to South Park, which I love, and chicken wings, which I also love. Some of my favorite dates with him were at his house eating wings and watching South Park. Jeff also managed to work in a lot more Star Wars. I'd seen the original trilogy, but only the first of the new trilogy (it turned me off of the new trilogy definitely the worst of the 6, in my opinion). He also showed me the remaining two Lord of the Rings*. I'd only seen the first in the theater and read the first book,  I became uninterested after Gandalf died. And he also introduced me to the Matrix, which I like, but is probably my least favorite of them all. I suppose I am now a geek by marriage.

The other night I asked Jeff if we would be considered 'born again trekkies'. We both watched it  (mostly the next generation) here and there growing up. The summer I was pregnant with Doug the first movie of the re-boot came out and we very much enjoyed it. Last summer we re-watched the movie, and afterwards I said that we should add the next generation shows to our dvr. We forgot about it and by the time we did it, it wasn't available on any of our cable channels. We eventually got a Roku (for internet streaming) and we've been watching the show free from Amazon Prime. We're going episode by episode, season by season. We're almost through the second season.

Doug is our little geekling in training. He is very much into Star Wars. He does a mean Chewie and Vader impression. During the Super Bowl, a trailer for the next Star Trek movie was aired. In the trailer, it was quiet for a moment, except for the beeping of the Enterprise. Doug whipped around, "RD2??!". We told him, no, that it was Star Trek and not Star Wars, and please don't ever mix them up again. Doug hasn't seen Star Trek, but he knows we watch it and has asked to watch it too. The geek is strong with this one. I won't even try to influence it out of him.

This is the back of my car. 

*Watching 'The Lord of the Rings' with Jeff is a serious time commitment. He has the extended edition of each movie, so it takes about 12 hours if you want to watch them all. In fact, I was forbidden to buy 'The Hobbit' when it came out on dvd, because Jeff had heard that there was going to be an extended release coming out before Christmas. 

Knit & Knat

I've picked up knitting again. It was either knitting or sky-diving. Knitting has the added benefit of being portable and something I can do while I watch tv. Sky-diving, not so much. I learned to knit in college, classes were offered (non-credit) through the student union. I only ever learned how to make a knit stitch though. My project for the class was this humungous knit purse. I forgot to account for the fact that knit materials are stretchy and the very long shoulder strap I made went past my knees! But I digress.

My cell phone drove me back into knitting again. That sounds odd, but let me explain. For some unknown reason, despite a few resets and two software upgrades, my phone will randomly light up in the middle of the night while it's charging. It lights up when it finishes charging, but also lights up every now and again just for the fun of it. My phone charges next to my side of the bed on a table. I had hoped that turning the phone over would help, but enough light comes out the sides to be annoying when I'm trying to sleep. I'll just about doze off and then my phone will light up, mocking me; "Oh, were you just about asleep? TOO BAD!". I had stuffed it in a sock for a while, but the phone didn't fit well with the plug on. I had decided that at some point I was going to knit a cozy for my phone, and I finally got around to it:

                                      

You can see how skillful I am with knitting needles! (or not). I knitted a long strip, folded it up and stitched up the sides.  I forgot how to finish projects, and the end unraveled on me a bit. I managed to fix it, but I imagine that this cozy won't last forever. It's doing a great job keeping the phone from lighting up the room though.

Through the Bloggess I heard about this charitable organization called Project Night Night . Project Night Night makes up these tote bags for homeless children that have a security blanket, a stuffed animal and a bedtime book in it. They take donations of  new and homemade items. I really enjoyed knitting, to the point that if I wasn't knitting I was wishing I was. Knitting while I watch tv also means that my hands are too busy to snack. Anyway, I had all this yarn sitting around from college and I thought I'd knit a blanket and mail it to this organization.

I particularly liked the look and feel of this yarn:

                                                         

It's a homespun yarn and I thought I would knit a nice, simple, soft one piece blanket out of it. Not so much. It was very difficult for me to work with. I'm not sure if I needed smaller needles, more skill or if it is better for crocheting with. So I put it aside for maybe another project later.

I ended up finding some multicolored 'baby' blanket style yarn in my collection. I went out and bought some green and yellow yarn to match it. I decided to make squares, two multicolored squares per row, separating the green and yellow squares. Something like this, but not in a diamond pattern: 
  
                                      

I also found this pretty multicolored baby yarn with pretty silvery thread wound through it:

                                             

It's probably a little difficult to see it in the picture, but trust me, it's pretty. I thought I'd use that to knit a border for the blanket.

I like the idea of knitting squares and sewing them all together. I'm hoping that it will be studier than one knit piece that could fall to pieces with one broken thread. It's probably going to take me a while to finish this project, I am a slooooow knitter! I'm sure my craft club will get sick of seeing it!

New Year

Happy New Year everyone!

I like the new year. It feels fresh and full of promise.  This year I'll turn 30, in a few weeks, in fact. I'm not sure yet how I feel about that. I've been telling my husband that I've lived most of my adult life in my 20s (think about that, it's TRUE) so being 30, is.... different. Probably not bad different but just different. Jeff will be 33 this year, so he's already done the '30 thing'. My biggest apprehension about getting older has to do with the fact that in my 20s I acquired two (TWO!) chronic illnesses. I know as I age, my risk for more only goes up.

Along with many other people, I've been thinking about New Year's resolutions. All the ones I've come up with pretty much boil down to one thing: do healthier things for myself and my family.

 For example, this is unhealthy and pretty stupid:

That is a picture of my diaper bag. With all the contents there, plus Doug's sippy cup, the bag weighs close to 12 lbs. TWELVE POUNDS. Twelve pounds on my shoulder every time we leave the house. I don't have to tell you that this is bad. It's bad for anyone, but horrendously bad for someone with fibro. I was able to pare it down to 9/10 lbs. I wanted it closer to 8. Next week I'm going to go look at Vera Bradley's 'Mom's day out' bags to see if that would better fit our needs. The diaper bag plus Doug means occasionally I'm carrying 40 lbs. Yes. 

In other fibro related resolutions, I've decided that I'm allowed to say 'no' to things. I'm allowed to say 'no' to things that I feel are going to over tax me. It probably won't happen much, but saying 'no' more means saying 'yes' more to Doug. 'Yes, we can go to the park' 'Yes, I'll get out of bed right away' 'Yes, I'll play with you' 'Yes, I'll make dinner now'. So please don't be offended if I say 'no' to you.

I've also decided that I'm allowed to wear sneakers all the time. I have TONS of gorgeous, lovely heels in my closet that I haven't worn for years (mostly because I'm getting smarter). I've found that if I wear heels, I will spend the next day in agony. The muscles in my calves do not remember how to relax well; they need the support of sneakers. I do have some nice flats I can wear from time to time. I've also found that low wedge heels are acceptable for a while. Don't worry Erin; I won't wear crocs or sneakers to your wedding! I shall be cleaning out my closet soon though.

I also want to change the way we eat. I obviously am going to try to include more fresh fruits and veggies in our meals. I feel that when I cook, we do eat fairly healthy things. However, when I don't cook, we don't eat so healthfully. Unfortunately when I don't feel well, which happens from time to time, making dinner is the last thing I want to do. So we go out or grab some fast food or order in. My goal this year is to reduce the number of times we do that. I plan to go through my recipes and find things that will freeze well. I can make double one night for dinner and freeze the rest. That way when I'm having a flare up, we can just defrost a nice homemade dinner. I did a similar thing when I was pregnant with Doug, and we had some nice dinners to have when Doug was a newborn. I also want to make more soup. Mostly because homemade soup is delicious.

I also plan to do completely crazy, off the wall things this year. Absurd things like eat breakfast AND lunch. Drink more water. I've decided to set my exercise goal to be one aerobic activity a week (chasing Doug through the store with a huge cart won't count, but it sorta counts). Once a week sounds low, but with the fibro, I want to slowly increase exercise. I'd also like to start yoga again. See the insanity?

What are your New Year's resolutions?

Wishing you a happy and healthy New Year!

Mini Vacation

I didn't actually go away over the weekend, but I still feel like I had a small vacation.

Friday morning my mother came over to get Doug and whisked him away for a day with my parents. Soon after that I set out for Tyson's Corner Virginia. I didn't even mind the drive out there, it was peaceful to sit in the car and listen to my own music without some one occasionally screaming for 'Rainbow Connection' to be played again (and again, and again..). Once at Tyson's I met my friend Bridget at her hotel. She actually was having a very well deserved vacation. From there we went to Leesburg where there's an outlet mall. The big draw for us there, well at least me, was the Vera Bradley outlet, which was absolutely amazing! Walking into the store was almost visually overwhelming for me, so much to see in so many patterns and colors! We walked around for a while looking at the various styles and patterns offered. The deals were fairly good. They also had a deal that day that gave you half off a second item, which I thought was decent. I was kicking myself for not having waited to replace my baby bag*, but I do love the newer pattern that I got it in. Initially I picked up a large duffel bag, but after walking around with it, I remembered that we had actually bought a nice duffel bag before I went to the hospital to have Doug, so there really was no need for another one. I did want a really big bag though and settled on the 'Get Carried Away Tote' in English Meadow, one of my favorite patterns. I decided that the bag would be good for day trips and car trips. Jeff looked at me like I had three heads that evening, but that's why I went with Bridget and not Jeff. I also picked up a new address book** in the same pattern. I used great self control and only bought two things there, keeping my total at about eighty bucks. I'm very proud of myself.

Of course there were many other stores there. They had several children's clothing stores, so I bought clothes for the one person in my family who absolutely didn't need any***. I got Doug another helicopter shirt so that I don't have to constantly tell him that the only shirt he wants to wear is in the laundry. I also got him some more pjs, one of them a 3 piece set so he can have long pants to wear in the fall/winter and a cute Elmo short set which he wants to wear constantly. I also got him a cute snap button down collared shirt to wear from Old Navy. We were just about to leave when I noticed a Corningware and Pyrex store. I only bought two things, again showing great restraint. I got a cute lunch box sized dish with a nice top that will vent for microwaving and a larger oval oven safe dish with the same sort of lid. I may have bought them purely because of the hot pink and purple lids. Bridget fretted that Jeff would never let me go shopping with her again.

The next day Bridget and I went up to Gaithersburg to a book festival to see the Bloggess, Jenny Lawson. It was an outdoor event, just borderline on waaay too hot. Jeff drove us because it looked like parking was going to be nutty, and it was. He and Doug went to a lovely park near by and then to see trains, so the two of them had a nice time. The tent (or 'room' as the website misleadingly called it) that Jenny Lawson presented in was swarmed by women before her presentation. As soon as the previous speaker left the stage there was quite a hustle for seats. I know we were very lucky to get seats at all! I think Jenny Lawson may have been one of the bigger draws that day, because she was in one of the bigger tents. She walked right by us, escorted by several cops, to get to the stage. She read from her book 'Let's Pretend This Never Happened', which is hysterical. She was very witty and genuinely nice. After the reading she went to another tent to do signings. As I had read the book on my nook, I went and bought a hard back copy for her to sign. The line went on forever, but Bridget and I met several funny women waiting in it. The whole thing was a total estrogen fest. After that, Jeff and Doug picked us up and we went out for a yummy BBQ dinner. Doug requests nothing else these days.

Sunday ended up being more laid back than I had envisioned. We took Doug to Sunday school for the very first time. He loved it so much he didn't want to leave and we heard about what he did all day long. One of the older boys in his class went out of his way to befriend Doug. It always amazes me how inclusive young children are with each other. After church the plan was a nap for Doug and then I'd plan and write up a grocery list and go shopping while Jeff stayed home and did the laundry. We ended up laying down too for a short bit and then abandoned the others chores we had in favor of going out for Thai and then to Barnes & Noble. It ended up being a nice way to end a very lovely weekend.


*I've love, love, loved my Baby Bag, but I really wanted a bag with a shoulder strap, so I bought the Metropolitan, which is a great mommy bag. The only draw back is that I lost the pockets on the side for juice cups, but that's a small loss compared to getting a shoulder strap, which has already proved its worth.

** I didn't listen to my mother and used ink to write addresses in my previous one, and once people moved and divorced and split up, it was hard to change things, and white out of any kind didn't work well. I had to type the part about my mother being right in a smaller font.

***Although, my mother did remind me that I should buy more t-shirts for Doug in the next size up for next winter. He doesn't like long sleeved shirts at all, and I had a hell of a time finding short sleeves in January. Again with my mom being right. What is that about?

Drowning Worms

Doug went fishing for the first time this past weekend with his Pop-pop, Uncle John and Jeff. We went to a lake that was pretty close to home. It turned out to be a decent day, warm, but overcast.

Doug didn't have his line in for more than a few minutes before he caught his first fish!

It was a small bluegill. His Uncle John took the fish off the hook for Doug. Doug's biggest concern was that the fish get back in the water quickly. He then went on to catch two more fish soon after. His technique was simple: have Daddy cast out the line, and then slowly reel it in himself, and then have Mommy or Daddy help reel the fish in.

After he caught his third fish, he got a little restless. He began to leave his Star Wars fishing pole on the ground and wander away from it. Luckily, a large fish wasn't interested in his line. Doug and I then spent some time at the playground near by.


After a little play break, Doug was ready to get back down to business. He saw several small catfish that John caught. Doug seemed to enjoy fishing and is eager to go back out and try it some more!

Accepting Failure

One of the effects of having a chronic illness or two can be a some what restricted life style. Most of the time when I look at my life under a small lens, I see that things are mostly fine and well. But if I look broader, I see that some aspects of my life are just not coming together as much as I'd like. And I'm starting to believe that's okay.

I recently started reading a book that was recommended to me called 'The Ragamuffin Gospel'* by Brennan Manning. I'm not too much more than 50 pages into it, it's a rather 'deep thought' kind of book, but I'm really getting a lot out of it. The central theme of the book seems to be about God's grace for us, and that we can't do anything to earn it, it's just given to us as a gift. Essentially, God knows we don't have it together, and that's okay.

This book was recommend to me ages ago by my pastor. I kept putting it off and putting it off and then last week I ran out of things to read and remembered this book. Some times when I pick up a book, it's the right time for me to read that book. Like I'm ready to experience it, that I may not have appreciated it as much if I'd read it earlier. That seems to have happened with this particular book. We've started the New Testament in my Bible study and I was starting to feel that I wasn't doing enough as a Christian. I started thinking "Well, now there's potty training, healthy shopping and cooking, exercise, Bible study, Church, story time, quality play time with Doug, quality time with Jeff and some time for me so I don't go postal, and oh yeah, let's work in some volunteer time too!" Yeah. I don't see it all happening either. This was helping me feel more anxious and overwhelmed. Then at one point in this book, a single mother tells the pastor that she feels called to a soup kitchen, but doesn't want to leave her kids with some one else. The pastor said something along the lines of ' you being a mother is enough for God'. And then my mind went "ooooh". It helped me let go of some of the anxieties in my life.

I have trouble sometimes accepting limitations due to illness. Things like not getting to church, or story time or making dinner for my family. I've come to slowly realize that failing can be okay, that I need to let it go. Tomorrow is another chance to make things right.

My ragamuffin.

*The full title is 'The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out'. See why I thought it was appealing?

Off and Running

I think the title should be more like 'Off and Walking' or 'Off and Strolling' but I thought the one I chose looked better. Anyway, we're a week into the New Year and life is going well. I love the holidays, but I'm glad they're over. I like it when our schedule relaxes and things can go back to normal. We do have a bit of a birthday blitz in the next two months, but that's not as crazy or as all consuming as the holidays can be.

I've started feeling better. I do tend to do better with my fibro in the winter. It's something about the heat that tends to increase my level of fatigue. Conversely, my hypothyroidism tends to get worse in the cold months, my thyroid's activity tends to decrease and I experience more aches in my joints. I'd rather be dealing with thyroid issues then fibro ones as the thyroid is relatively easy to fix. I've also been off of Lyrica for about a month and a half now. We added Lyrica to my regimen about a year ago to help deal with my skin sensitivity*, but it didn't work, so it just got increased and increased until I was taking a mind boggling amount of it. It was also causing unpleasant side effects, so I went off of it, which took forever because its a drug you have to back off slowly. So I noticed that when I was in Kansas City for Thanksgiving, that I didn't need to take naps that week. That was the first full week I was off the drug. Then one of my girlfriends mentioned that she'd been on a mood stabilizer that was causing her lots of fatigue. Then it just clicked into place. So now that I've been off of Lyrica I've had more energy. I was taking naps almost daily in the fall, and I rarely got anything done.

We've had a very definite upswing on the quality of our lives. The house is cleaner and more organized. We've eaten more healthy homemade dinners. Doug's gotten more quality play time. We've been attending church more. Yesterday we hit story time for the first time in months! So, here's to you, 2012! Lookin' good!


*The skin sensitivity has a fancy smancy name: tactile allodynia

Winding Down the Year

We're almost at the end of 2011. So I'm now ready to spend another six months trying to remember what year it is when I write checks. It takes about that long for the new year to sink in. Either that or I write '2001' everywhere. 2010 was really hard to remember because there was a '1' and a '0' just like in '2001'. But I digress.

We had a nice Christmas. I got the only thing I really wanted: Doug had a great Christmas. I also got some new Vera Bradley gear. We got to spend Christmas Eve with my Dad's family and Doug was really into my Grandfather's trains. Christmas morning we stayed here and my parents came to us in the afternoon. Doug got a lot of cool stuff. Our house looks like Santa just decided to stop at our house and dump all the toys from the rest of the block here. We had Christmas dinner over at my Grandma's house and Doug enjoyed a nice roaring fire in the fire place. Fires in fire places are evidently the most awesome thing ever. It was busy, but over all nice.


Doug's Grandparents in Kansas City sent him enough track to choke a hippo and we had a lot of fun on the 26th building track for his trains.


I decided that we were going to start the new year out with a clean house, so for the past few days we've been cleaning and taking down the decorations. We cleaned out the closets and pantry and donated things we didn't need or want anymore. I feel like it's a little easier to breath without the clutter, dust and decorations around. We're planning a very laid back New Year's Eve. We plan to go out for a late lunch and then come home and put on our pajama pants and watch movies and eat cocktail meatballs. I've been looking forward to this for weeks, it should be great!

Happy New Year!


Doug doing his part in the clean-up effort. Not pictured is his dancing to 'Some Kind of Monster' (I told him it was about Cookie Monster). If you can picture 'The Elaine' dance from Seinfeld without the kicking, you can picture Doug dance.

New & Old Traditions

I have to say, that one of the most fun things about having my own family is determining the various traditions we keep during the holidays. This year is the first Christmas we're celebrating in our new house, so it's the first time we've decorated it. We moved in a year ago in November, but spent Christmas in Kansas City.

We decided we really needed something on our lawn, so we got an inflatable Santa. I think he must be kin with the Wicked Witch of the West, because during the day he looks like a puddle.


We always hear about the Garden of Lights in Wheaton, but usually after the fact. This was the first year we made it out to it, and it was a blast. Doug loved running around and looking at all the light sculptures. He's wearing a nice coat that his Uncle John gave him last year. It finally fits!


Inside one of the buildings at the park they have a model train exhibit. Doug was completely fascinated by it and we spent a good half hour in there.



Here he's looking through the tunnel, waiting for the trolley to return.



Every year growing up we'd go with my Grandfather and Uncle and cut down a fresh Christmas tree. I was very excited to include Doug in on this tradition with my family. Below he's pictured with his Uncle John scouting out trees.


This is the tree that Jeff cut down. Doug is very fond of sticks, every time he picks one up I try to get him to say 'Expecto Patronum!'. No such luck yet.

After we cut down trees, we go for lunch. The place we eat is near train tracks. We happened to sit out on a screened in patio, about 10 feet from the tracks. We saw two trains go by and Doug was in heaven!


This is a picture of the tree at home. Note that Doug is diligently UN-decorating the tree. That's a train (with moving wheels) that Nan gave Jeff many years ago. Doug's pretty sure it's his awesome new toy. Also note the seasonally appropriate Darth Vader t-shirt.


My high school has a 'Cookies with Santa' event for Alumni and their families and this is the second year we've taken Doug. I've still yet to see any '01ers there (ahem), but we had fun. It's a nice no pressure situation for the kids to see Santa.


Last weekend we went with my family to to Strasburg PA to see Santa on a train. Maybe the reindeer were in the shop? Anyhow, Doug is very into trains and it was a blast.




Santa gifted Doug with a small engine, so I'm pretty sure any lingering anxiety about Santa is now completely gone.

I'm really hoping we'll add the Santa train ride to our Christmas traditions.

Gah!

I'm half expecting agents from the Child Protective Service to be at my door today. I don't know how you can half expect something, but there it is. Also? My biggest worry about that is that they'll notice all the smeary sticky little hand prints on the coffee table that I haven't washed off yet. But there you have it.

Anyway, to make a long story somewhat shorter, we've called Poison Control twice in the past week! The first time was on Saturday. Jeff and I were just laying on the bed and Doug was running around, and then all of a sudden, he was on Jeff's side of the bed, chewing on something. We never did figure out what it was or if he swallowed it, but Jeff feared it may have been an ibuprofen pill he dropped. The pills are extremely bright orange, and there was no trace of the coating in Doug's mouth, so I doubted it. But to be on the safe side, Jeff called Poison Control, which basically said he'd probably be ok, but keep an eye on him. The thing we didn't know about poison control is that they take your information, and they call you back the next day to make sure the child is fine. Which I suppose they do for statistical reasons or something, because if Doug was ill, we'd take him to the doctor or the hospital and not wait around for a call to tell us that might be a good idea. But some people are stupid I suppose.

Last night I went to my bible study and Jeff and Doug went to swim class. On the way home from swim class they stopped off at the grocery store to get me some flowers. While Doug was in the cart, he was reaching for things, but Jeff thought he'd maneuvered the cart so Doug couldn't get a hold of anything. When Jeff was done picking out flowers, he looked over at Doug who was spitting something out that looked like tomato. It was not. It was Jerusalem Cherry plant, which has fruit that looks like cherry tomatoes, which happen to be one of Doug's favorite foods. Anyway, the cherries on the plant are toxic. When Jeff got home, he called Poison Control again. Because it appeared Doug spit the fruit out, he wasn't in any real danger other than an upset stomach. We turned on the baby monitor for the first time in a year so we could hear him if he got sick. We learned that Doug evidently has favorite songs on his fish mobile, and he'd smack the button to change the tune to a different one. I'd been wondering why it seemed the fish mobile was on forever.

Doug seems to be fine. We went to story time today, where he shared very nicely, most of the time. Afterward we went shopping. I had Doug strapped into the cart, and he was everywhere trying to grab everything. So I have a little more forgiveness in my heart today for Jeff. His penance last night was giving Doug a bath, which is exhausting and wet. Anyway, it seems I have a coffee table that needs cleaning...

Cool Moms Wear Pajamas

Right? Don't they?

That should give you a pretty good feel for how things are going around here lately. About three weeks ago, Doug acquired a cold. Then he gave it to Jeff. So, I pretty much didn't stand a chance. What was some minor sniffling to them became a whole ordeal for me, requiring Jeff to stay home one day and my mom to take Doug the next. The cold then developed into a lovely sinus infection. I've been tying to scrape myself together since then. You know how some one who has asthma wheezes, their lungs desperate for air? If my body could make a sound like that for all the sleep it craved, the noise would be deafening.

In other non-pajama related news, Doug is talking. For real. I've officially lost track of the number of words he has, which is a great sign. He's also working on the concept of 'off' and 'on', two of his new favorite words. At first, only the tv in our bedroom could be turned off and on, but then flashlights could be on as well as toys. This morning he brought me a can of play doh and said "on!", meaning to open it. Almost there. He's also been teething a ton. He's got his canine teeth coming in along with possibly three others. This has led to a bit of an eating strike on his part, but with some Advil and soft food, we were able to get him to eat something. We discovered at his 18 mo appointment, that he hadn't really grown at all. His doctor was concerned but not overly so. But now we have to see his doctor again in three months instead of six to check his growth. So his little eating strike has made me anxious. Some of my cousin's sons went through the same thing, so I'm not that worried. Maybe our kids are normal, and the others are huge? Anyway, I've resolved to monitor Doug's food intake more and try to make sure snacks happen more.

I finally joined something at our church. This is a big, hairy deal! I've been afraid to commit to something for a while, because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to make it to something because I wasn't feeling well. I decided I'd missed too many opportunities and I joined a bible study. It's very structured and it meets for something like 34 weeks. So far, I'm enjoying it. We're supposed to do a little reading each day and make notes in a workbook, but typical me, I leave it all to the night before. I suppose some habits are just hard to break. Some how I didn't study the bible much in the 13 years I was in Catholic school. I'm not sure how it happened but it did. Right now we're looking at Jacob and Joseph's family and I really wish I had the sound track to 'Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat'. Oooh, I've discovered it's 8 bucks on iTunes. Nevermind, it sounds awful. It sounds like a high school performance. I shall wait and get a better one some other time.

Doug is asleep, and for my quiet time I'm going to go curl up with a Sookie Stackhouse book. Those things are addictive! Also, she's kind of like Jessica Lansbury, every where she goes, people drop dead. I would move out of her town if I lived there. Anyway, my book and a comfy chair is calling me!

Mayhem and Chaos

Usually when I take a shower, I put Doug in his crib with a few toys to keep him occupied. Today, I asked him if he'd like to get in the shower with me, which he loves. He responded by saying and signing 'yes', so I led him into his room to get him ready.

He started doing this:


I thought that because he was throwing ALL of his toys into his crib that he'd rather stay in there this time.



So I plopped him in his crib and went on my merry way. You may have noticed that he's now wearing shorts in this picture. A few weeks ago, he threw everything out of his crib as usual, but this time his diaper as well. For a few days I took the precaution of making sure he was wearing shorts or pants, but then I forgot about it. Until Monday, when once again, his diaper was on the floor. When I walked into his room, he just pointed and stared at it, as if he couldn't believe his own daring. But lesson learned, the child shall wear shorts!


This is what I found when I returned after my shower:

"Spring me!"

And this:



At least he was wearing his diaper.

Fighting Back

One day last week I was lying in bed and wondering why I was there. The answer was obvious, that I was exhausted and couldn't do anything more. And then I began to wonder why I was letting that stop me from doing the things I wanted to do, from living my life. I realized that yes, I was tired, but I can decide to succumb to it, or push through it. I will grant you, that this attitude is easier on good days than bad, but even on bad days I need to do something.

Last week, thanks to an old acquaintance, I met a new doctor to treat my fibro. He's not a rheumatologist, but a chronic pain doctor. He also has actual fibro patients, I'm not one or two of fibro patients he treats, but about one of thirty he sees weekly. That's a lot of fibro experience. He wasn't happy with or complacent about my treatment either. My first doctor told me that he aims for a 60% recovery for his patients. I've always wondered why he didn't want more for them. This new doctor is willing to try new things, one at a time to see how I react to them. He's also willing to see me more frequently, once a month instead of once every three months. I'm sure that appointments will become farther in-between as the fibro becomes more stable. But he gives me hope, which is more than any other doctor has done so far.

Last week I started yoga again. It wasn't something I was planning on doing, but I got a groupon offer for classes at this studio and they offered some gentle yoga classes. Sometime I think things like that land in your lap for a reason, so I jumped on the offer. The class was definitely more challenging than my lost yoga class, which was mostly done in a chair*. It was hard but not impossible. I left the class sore, but feeling well. I also didn't realize how weak some of my muscles were, which was a good wake up call.

I've been lamenting the shape of the house for weeks, smears on the kitchen floor, crunched cheerios in the carpet, dust everywhere. I began to wonder 'Why can't I have a clean house? Who says it's impossible?". So last night I decide I'd take the house one room at a time and clean it. Thoroughly. So far the upstairs bathroom is done as well as the kitchen. I bought a large wicker bin for the living room to stow some of Doug's larger toys in.** I feel pretty good about what I've accomplished so far and look forward to finishing the job!

Have a great week!


*The last yoga class I did was a therapeutics class, full of mostly older women with various types of arthritis, so many things were done on a folding chair to accommodate that. To be perfectly honest, it didn't really feel like yoga to me. Also, folding chairs are not friendly to fibro type people. Ouch.

**The main toy room is in the basement, but Doug manages to have toys in the living room as well as his room, which got a toy basket long ago. I swear he's taking over the house!

Back in the Saddle

So. Wow. Several weeks have passed since I've updated my poor little blog. Well, starting about May, my thyroid condition started to get worse, leaving me fatigued. I swear there are sometimes that I think my middle name is fatigue. Anyway, then a TON of family on Jeff's side came into town. His parents stayed for two weeks, it was a blast. Then right after they left his aunt and uncle from Texas visited while they were in town for a wedding. It was nice to see them again, they hadn't met Doug. Then we had a break for about a week, and then Jeff's aunt and cousins from Alabama came to stay with us for a week. While they were here another one of Jeff's uncles from Kansas City was in town with his family. They were all here during Jeff's birthday, which was really special, as he never has family here then. There were a LOT of people, but we all had a good time.

At around this time I started seeing a new rheumatologist for my fibro. It turns out that he's leaving that practice, which is really annoying, as I had done quite a bit of research to find him and I liked him. At least he was up front and honest about treatment. He started me on a new anti-depressant to see if it helped my skin sensitivity. It did not. Even if it did, I wouldn't take it. I'm just now getting over the side effects from it-more fatigue. I couldn't make it through the day without a nap, unless I slept in. There were days in which I really couldn't get out of bed for quite a while. Sundays were the worst. We missed a LOT of church. Today is the second day in a row I got up at 9 and did not take a nap. Praise God! I'm starting to feel more like myself again.

A week and a half ago, I was starting to get things back together. We were on our way to church, when we got into an accident. An SUV pulled out in front of us from a gas station, another SUV was on it's tail, he didn't see us on the main road. Jeff swerved to avoid hitting him head on and the other driver ended up hitting us, on my passenger side door. In the car port is my THIRD rental car in two years. Ridiculous. Anyway, it was pretty low speed, but I felt tired and sore for a few days, but it's alright, because Doug was fine. I don't think I saw the other driver hit us because I looked back to check on Doug. He didn't even realize there was an accident until he heard his daddy swearing a blue streak! I don't blame Jeff there. We're hoping we're done with car accidents in our life time.

Doug is being Doug. He's still signing tons. I'm pretty sure he says 'dada'. The trouble is, when he babbles, he mostly babbles 'da da da da da'. But I can tell there are times he says it with meaning. He will also say "bubu!" complete with blowing for 'bubbles' at times. I've noticed that he can say the first sound in some people's names, with intent. For example, if he's looking for my brother John, he'll say "Jah? JAH!". Doug will say "guh?" for 'grandma'. So we're just waiting for him to add more words and sounds to his repertoire.

So that's all for now, I'm hoping I'll be able to post more regularly.

May The Fourth Be With You!

Do you ever have those days when you wonder what on earth is wrong with humanity? The other day I had several separate incidents in which I wondered what was wrong with this person!

Yesterday Doug and I met my mother and my grandmother for lunch at Red Lobster. We were seated in a large booth across from the hostess's desk. Before we left, I took Doug to the restroom to change his diaper. On the way back, across from our booth, we crossed paths with this elderly couple. The lady was using a cane to walk and walked several steps out of her way over to me. She looked up at me and said, "Can you do something for me?". I was a bit taken back, so I stumbled, "Uh, sure?". She opened her hand and she had two balled up Kleenexes. She asked me if I could throw them away. Totally taken aback and now shocked, I did. I walked 4 feet (!) to the desk and threw it away in the trashcan there. After I was done, I was a bit confused by the whole encounter. Normally, I wouldn't accept such a thing from a stranger. I understand that she was using a cane, and that walking wasn't easy. Believe me, she couldn't have found some one more empathetic. But she walked out of her way to me, she was closer to the hidden trashcan than to me. Also, why couldn't she have had her HUSBAND do it? Sticking them in her pocket wasn't a bad idea either. Needless to say, I purelled the heck out of my hands and vowed to never do such a thing again.

About an hour later I arrived at the store. Doug was passed out in his car-seat, so instead of carrying him around, I decided I'd get his stroller out. Now, let me tell you, that this week I've been a bit more fatigued and tired than usual. Also, possibly a bit whinier about it too. So, when I saw a spot that wasn't a handicapped spot and was close to the door, I nabbed it. It was actually the last regular spot and was next to a handicapped spot (on the driver's and car-seat side). I went and opened the trunk and began to unfold the stroller. Then I went and put my bag underneath the stroller, and lastly I got Doug out. His stroller straps are numerous. I'm not sure why, perhaps the makers thought the stroller would be involved in some sort of stroller demolition derby. I'm surprised it doesn't have a roll bar. But anyway, it takes a moment to get him all in, and during this point, I vaguely heard a car honk and I ignored it. After I was done, I noticed a van parking in a handicapped spot across from my car. As we came even with the first car in the handicapped spots, I saw a woman sitting in it with her window rolled down. She leaned out of it and said something along the lines of "the nerve of them honking at you when there are plenty of spaces!". So, basically, I got honked at because I was putting my BABY in his stroller and it wasn't happening fast enough for these people. I won't say that I didn't send a glare their direction.

Last night we were having a plumbing emergency*. At about ten thirty the plumber arrived and was getting his tools out of his truck when we got a phone call on our house line. Jeff answered it and said,"No, no, she doesn't live here. No, you have the wrong number." He then proceeded to give the caller the number she called (she asked) and then hung up. The plumber came in and Jeff followed him downstairs. I decided to try to start to get Doug ready for bed, as it was waaaay past bed time, when the phone rang AGAIN. Now, I think just about everyone agrees that past 10:30 it too late to call people. It's just rude and annoying. Also, it gets your adrenaline going, because you wonder, "Oh my gosh, what's wrong?", because decent people only call after then for emergencies. I answer the phone. The caller ID tells me that this is the SAME number that called five minutes ago. Sure enough, the caller asks for the SAME PERSON. Now, normally, I'm not rude to callers. I can and will be curt, but generally polite. But this person was clearly not getting that Annie did NOT live here! So I told her off (long day, plumbing emergency). I won't swear I didn't use obscenities, but I think I avoided it. It must have worked, because she didn't call back for Annie anymore.

This last incident happened today when I took Doug to the doctor's. It's more humorous and exasperating than the other incidents. Today we saw the nurse practitioner because Doug has a rash that I thought was eczema. The rash was apparently something seasonal and common that toddlers get, it goes away on its own, basically no big deal. So after she gave me this info, she proceeded to ask how things were at home. You know, who's at home with us, any more kids? Anything else going on..... (looking intently at me)? I was a bit flustered, about this and had no idea what she was getting at. I said no, just Doug and I, Daddy works.... Then it dawned on me that I must actually look how I feel for once (very sore and very fatigued). The undertone I was getting from her was like, "Well, does your husband throw you down the stairs every night?". I was amused that I must have looked how I felt, but I was too tired to get into the whole "Well, I'm a hypothyroid person with fibromyalgia, and if you could not use big words today, that would be great. Also, don't call CPS on us, because we're totally cool.". Maybe I should print up some handouts for next time? Too exhausting to go through it each time I see them!



*Very long, uninteresting, expensive story.

Fizzle

That was the theme sound of our weekend. Things just fizzled out.

Friday night was the birthday dinner of one of my grade school girl friends. She planned a nice evening at a restaurant in Glen Burnie, the Bone Fish Grill. Jeff and I had actually been there recently and had a very nice time, so I was excited to go again. The catch was that the place doesn't take reservations for prime time dining on Friday, and there were twelve people in the party. So, my friend got there an hour before hand to get us on the list with the hopes that we'd be seated by about 7, 7:30, that is about what the hostess said, so we had high hopes.

Now, Glen Burnie is about 40ish minutes from my house and I'd only been there a couple of times with Jeff. Since I'd never driven there myself, I didn't feel too comfortable doing it by myself. Then you add to the fact that the fibro screws with my night vision and it was raining and then suddenly I'm your 65 year old relative who has to leave your house before dark. My parents weren't available to watch Doug, and we didn't have another sitter lined up. I really wanted to go, and Jeff very generously offered to drive me. We need a new washer and dryer, so he planned to have dinner with Doug in the area and then do some comparison shopping at the stores in the area while I had dinner with the girls.

This plan sounded good. When I got to the restaurant, my friends were in the bar, so I joined them. We chatted and had drinks and caught up on life. At about 8 or so (half an hour to an hour after we expected to be seated) the bar tender (who totally looked like Frodo Baggins, and oddly had a black eye) closed out our tabs saying that our table was going to be ready soon. We waited and waited and were starting to get restless. At about 8:45 we went to stand in the front of the restaurant, hoping to be seated soon. It was almost 9, and this meant that we'd probably eat dinner closer to 10. It was just too late. I couldn't let Jeff and Doug wait out all night for me. I decided I needed to leave, so Jeff and Doug came and picked me up. I was very disappointed, but it was really going to be a much later evening that I'd planned. For what it's worth, Doug had a very nice time at Chik-fila. He had a yummy dinner and a lot of fun in the play area. The Glen Burnie Chik-Fila has a much more awesome play place than ours. When we got home, the power was out. I wondered if we'd suddenly been relocated into Montgomery County. According to BG&E, one of the arms of a pole had to be replaced and our power would be on by 11:30, 1, then 3. Luckily it came back by 2, or else Jeff would have been sleeping in the basement*. And that was Friday.

I decided that Saturday we'd do something as a family. We decided on Thai for lunch and a movie, Hop. I didn't want to see Hop in particular, I just wanted to see a movie. We had a very nice lunch, the waitresses at the Tara Thai in Rio hadn't seen Doug since he was about 6 months old, so they made a big fuss over him, which he loved. We got to the movie, got some soda for us, chocolate milk for Doug and some snow caps and Reece's pieces. We decided to try Doug in his own seat in the theater and got a booster for his chair. We settled him between us and gave him some of the candy and milk. He was happy during the previews, he occasionally had to get up and stand on his chair and see all the people sitting behind us. When the movie started, he began to get restless. He wanted to walk around in front of us and say 'hi' to the people sitting near us. We tried to get him to sit in our laps, but he would have none of it and screamed each time. Jeff had finally had enough and took Doug to the entrance way and let Doug run around there. Every so often he'd try to sit down with Doug, but he'd scream again. This went on for at least 40 minutes and was miserable for all three of us. I decided that it was time to go. It wasn't Doug's fault. I think the problem was that he was too tired and our environment was too interesting for him to settle down and take a nap. Lesson learned, no more movies for a while.

Sunday was kind of a wash. I was too tired, drained and sore to get up in the morning, so we missed out on church. Most of the day was spent around the house. I watched a Hallmark movie I'd dvr'd a few weeks ago, 'Time After Time'. It was about a 55 year old man who accidentally went back in time and went to save his 30 year old self and marry his high school sweet heart. At one point, the events of the man's life had changed because of a choice he'd made with his second chance. The older version of the man had no memory of the events and they'd had no idea why. I felt they needed the Doc there with a chalk board showing the diverging time lines. It was a cute movie as long as you didn't think about it. Sunday was a very lazy day.

This weekend has made it painfully obvious that we need to think about an alternate baby-sitter. It's kind of a difficult time for Doug now because he has separation anxiety. I also don't want to subject anyone to a screaming toddler for a few hours.



*No electricity means that Jeff's CPAP machine doesn't work, which means that I don't sleep due to the monstrous snoring.