Shifting Gears

So I've been in a nasty flare up, since June. For whatever reason, my endometriosis has been pissing everything off in my pelvis. It makes it difficult and uncomfortable to sleep, so naturally that leads to a flare up of my fibromyalgia. Now there's pain from my fibro, which also makes it difficult to sleep, which leads to... more pain. It's a nasty cycle, and because of my endo involvement, I'm having a hell of a time breaking out of it. Even my physical therapist and neurologist are getting frustrated by this.

I've been in denial, somewhat, about the length and severity of this flare up. I finally realized the other day that so many of my recent daily frustrations stem from the fact that I'm trying to live like I'm NOT in a flare up. So I realized that I need to retool things, down shift to help me get through this. I know that there have been relationships I've been neglecting, and it hasn't been personal, it's been an attempt to save my energy for other things. And unfortunately, there's going to be a lot more of that for the time being.

The good news is that I feel like I have finally reached the bottom of the pit of despair, which means there's only one direction left to go, up! This past weekend was difficult. I had a treatment in the doctor's office on Friday which at first seemed promising, but then seems to have failed. I was also given an increased dosage of one of my medications, which the cost of is now astronomical. I can afford it, but I choose not to spend an absurd amount of money on it (what I had been paying for a three month supply is now the cost of only one month). Luckily, Jeff realized that I was stuck in this pit and threw down a ladder and climbed in after me. I think I'm going to be able to make it out, again. Because that's what you do when you live with chronic illness, you keep climbing out of the same pit, over and over gain, because you have to.

Self care is important, be well!

The Quiet Time Bag

          Four o'clock in the afternoon seems to be the witching hour around here. Luke is usually down for a nap. Doug and I have typically just finished his homework. I am usually exhausted by this point in the day, but need to start making dinner soon. And Doug is usually full of energy and wants to yell and run around the house. In case you don't live in the DC metro, we've had over two consecutive weeks of rain, so throwing Doug into the yard hasn't been an option much. I ended up losing what little control I had left with Doug by this point in the afternoon. After several days of this, I thought to myself, "I can do better. WE can do better." I just needed for inspiration to strike, and it did.

                                                

    I give you: The Quiet Time Bag. It. Is. Awesome. I'm really not over selling it. I found some things that Doug can do QUIETLY, in his room, for about half an hour. Thirty minutes is enough time that I can regroup, take a brief break, and start dinner. Jeff typically walks in the door not too long after, which is a huge help.
Anyway, in the bag we have a note, Colorforms, secret market reveal pads, sticker books, Spirograph, coloring pages, blank pages bound together in a binder (he loves this, for some reason). Doug loves the bag. He will ask for it all the time. I try to limit its use to those afternoon times and Saturday mornings. We already had some of those things (paper, Colorforms) and some I bought in the dollarish section of Target. I save some things to put in later and plan to rotate things in and out so Doug doesn't get bored.

The note I included:

 

I also made a sign to put up by the baby gate. You can see what Doug thought of it:


 

So far, I'm pretty happy with how the Quiet Time Bag is working out. I 'll have to keep it interesting to keep his attention, but I'm happy he's doing something creative. And most importantly, I'm glad he can be quiet and I don't have to yell.