Douglas James, International Sensation

On Saturday night we decided to go to a local Chinese buffet for dinner. Buffets with Doug are fantastic. Because of his age, we rarely have to pay and he gets to eat a ton of food. I'm pretty sure we're ripping restaurants off when we take him.

When we got there, we could see a large tour bus in the parking lot, but it didn't seem to be too crowded otherwise. We went in and got a table right next to the entrance. Doug was already clamoring for food, so it seemed our choice of a buffet was inspired. I took Doug up with me and had him pick out food (he picked out veggies!) and then dropped him off at the table to get my own plate. After we'd been eating a while, Doug stood up in the booth and flirted with the people standing in the foyer behind us. After a few times, I looked over my shoulder to see that Doug was flirting with some older Asian women. Once in a while they'd smile or wave at him. A few minutes later, one of the ladies was playing peek-a-boo with him and then tickling him suddenly. Doug was enjoying this and he didn't seem to be bothering them, so I let it continue. The very next thing we knew, we were surrounded by at least a dozen Asian people, all smiling and waving at Doug. None of them spoke English. It was slightly over whelming. They gave Doug high fives, held up fingers to see how old he was and pinched his cheeks. Doug was a bit staggered by his sudden audience, but seemed to take it all in stride. They gave Doug kisses and candy, he sent kisses there way too. It was kind of an awkward 'well, now you've said hello, we're eating, but you're still here' sort of thing that lasted waaay longer than it should have. Finally one of the tourists who spoke English came over and was telling us that they were saying that Doug was cute and wanted to take a picture of him. We consented and after a couple more high-fives they went on their way. Hopefully they were able to see that not all American children are brats. Possibly the oddest experience we've ever had as parents.

The Gift

So, this came for Doug in the mail today.



It's from a well meaning, but eccentric and clueless relative. I won't say whose side of the family this person is on. This person has grown children and is hence a mother. The price tag that was still attached to this, lets call it a thing, indicated that she paid $19.99 for it. The shipping label on the box listed postage as being $9.99. So in all, this gift cost approximately 30 bucks.

Now, I am sure that no matter how I say this I'm going to come across as ungrateful. But come on! Seriously?!? If you're going to spend 30 bucks, send something useful! Doug does have some things that he's still too small for. All those things are clothes, and will be needed in the Fall. He does have some other stuffed animals, but they are all appropriately sized for an infant or a toddler.

As my Mom pointed out, this thing could definitely suffocate him. I don't want to think of what would happen if this thing caught on fire.

Needless to say, we're not keeping it. I'm torn between giving it away to charity or flat out throwing it out.


For a baby to bunny comparison:


Note the terrified look on Doug's face.


To show obvious baby hazard: