Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Saying Good Bye to Mommy Regrets

        Every parent feels hassled these days. PTA meetings, soccer practice, cub scouts, double ear infections, homework, and the list goes on and on. It's so hard not to succumb to the every day stress of simply living your life.

      As a parent with chronic illness, the challenge is even harder. I have to accomplish things AND do it in such a way that I'm not desperately over tired the next day, so I can get up and do it all AGAIN. It's hard some times. I am however, proud to say, that I have hauled myself out of bed and gotten Doug to school everyday he needed to go. He has never missed a day of school due to my illness. It may not seem like a big deal to some people, but some days the personal sacrifice is huge.

     And that's why I'm cutting myself some slack. Back in September, when my endometriosis pain started becoming so bad that it was painful to walk, I decided that I would 'treat myself' and drive to school rather than walk in the mornings. I have also decided I will pick him up in the car when it rains as the logistics of walking a toddler to school, in the rain, are insane. We have bought a huge box of chicken pot pies from Costco to have on nights when I'm not up to making dinner. We also have frozen pasta for the same reason. Today, I decided to treat myself to the five dollar surcharge and pick up my groceries at the store instead of shopping for them in the rain. Good use of five dollars and it will save me quite a bit of energy and precious time.

     Letting go of things you haven't accomplished is difficult. I had bought some crafts for Doug and I to do over the holidays, but due to a long, awful, migraine cluster, they didn't happen. I also bought lots of dry ingredients for cookies I never baked. Instead of feeling anxious about these things, I've decided to just let it go. No point dwelling on what cannot be changed. My energy is better spent else where for sure.

   So I think in 2017, I'm going to give myself more license to cut myself some slack. Let the clean laundry sit in the hallway for a day. Let the kitchen floor go longer between moppings. Stock the freezer with meals to make for when I'm unable to. So cut yourself some slack too! Have a glass of wine and watch some tv on the couch tonight instead of paying the bills.