Tuesday, October 11, 2016
So I've been in a nasty flare up, since June. For whatever reason, my endometriosis has been pissing everything off in my pelvis. It makes it difficult and uncomfortable to sleep, so naturally that leads to a flare up of my fibromyalgia. Now there's pain from my fibro, which also makes it difficult to sleep, which leads to... more pain. It's a nasty cycle, and because of my endo involvement, I'm having a hell of a time breaking out of it. Even my physical therapist and neurologist are getting frustrated by this.
I've been in denial, somewhat, about the length and severity of this flare up. I finally realized the other day that so many of my recent daily frustrations stem from the fact that I'm trying to live like I'm NOT in a flare up. So I realized that I need to retool things, down shift to help me get through this. I know that there have been relationships I've been neglecting, and it hasn't been personal, it's been an attempt to save my energy for other things. And unfortunately, there's going to be a lot more of that for the time being.
The good news is that I feel like I have finally reached the bottom of the pit of despair, which means there's only one direction left to go, up! This past weekend was difficult. I had a treatment in the doctor's office on Friday which at first seemed promising, but then seems to have failed. I was also given an increased dosage of one of my medications, which the cost of is now astronomical. I can afford it, but I choose not to spend an absurd amount of money on it (what I had been paying for a three month supply is now the cost of only one month). Luckily, Jeff realized that I was stuck in this pit and threw down a ladder and climbed in after me. I think I'm going to be able to make it out, again. Because that's what you do when you live with chronic illness, you keep climbing out of the same pit, over and over gain, because you have to.
Self care is important, be well!