Wardrobe Malfunction

I know at one time or another every woman has thrown open her closet and proclaimed that she has absolutely nothing to wear. I have done this too. But I really mean it now!

I have clothes in my closet for practically any occasion you could think of, with a purse and shoes to coordinate with them. At the beginning of the pregnancy, this was okay. I could get by wearing my jeans with the Bella band and any top that I wanted. Despite the fact that now, at 36 weeks, I can still button AND zip my pre-pregnancy jeans, I switched to maternity jeans for comfort early on. And ok, while I can still button and zip my jeans I can't exactly move in them. I don't dare sit in them. Anyway, I stupidly thought that I could get away without buying any maternity tops. This was ok until about thirty weeks, when my shirts started getting shorter and shorter. So, I went out and bought half a dozen maternity tee shirts. When I did this I also looked for some nicer dressy tops. However, it being January at the time, everything is long sleeved. Even before I was pregnant I couldn't bear long sleeves. So I just left the store with the t shirts. I wished I had realized that January and February were chock full of occasions! It turns out that I only have one or two non-maternity tops that are acceptable to wear out now (they fit comfortably and are long enough).

Last Saturday I finally realized how dire my wardrobe situation had become. As, I said before, my non pregnancy jeans still fit and zip. When you think of a clothing hierarchy in terms of ease of fit, sweat pants would always fit the easiest and jeans are always a tougher customer. So that being said, in my mind, skirts are some where in the middle of that ease of fittability (yes, I'm making up words. I'm nine months pregnant. Sue me). So to my friend's daughter's baptism I thought I would throw together a cute skirt and top and it would be lovely and fabulous. So I pull out a skirt that seems pregnancy friendly. It goes on, admittedly a little snugger over my hips than I thought, but it zipped! Success! Then I look in the mirror. I had neglected to account for the baby bump and the skirt ended up being much shorter than anticipated. Also sitting in the skirt was not the most comfortable thing ever. Sigh. Needless to say I ended up in my maternity cords and that same old top I've been wearing since Christmas.

I can't wait for Spring when the baby will be out and I can wear/shop for pretty clothes again. I feel it's a little silly to consider buying clothes now with four weeks or less left (don't even suggest the possibility of me going part my due date. I will un-friend you and never talk to you. Never Again.). I suppose until then I'll just have to make do with what I have. I'll also have to shop vicariously through other people. So feel free to tell me what you've bought for the Spring. I promise I'll oooh and aaah.

A Preview of Things Yet to Come?

"Who needs sleep?
(well you're never gonna get it)
Who needs sleep?
(tell me what's that for)
Who needs sleep?
(be happy with what you're getting
There's a guy who's been awake
since the Second World War)" ~ Barenaked Ladies


Have I mentioned how much I like (LOVE) sleep? And being hypothyroid AND nearly nine months pregnant makes me absolutely obsessed with it.

When I'm not asleep, I frequently find myself day dreaming about sleeping. Take Sunday night for example. We went out to dinner for my Grandfather's birthday. At some point in the evening I needed to use the restroom (I know, color you surprised), and just outside of the restrooms, they had this couch. Now, typing the word couch hardly conveys the emotion I want to put into that word. But please imagine that the word 'couch' was said like you might say the name of your long lost lover or something. That's a pretty good approximation of how I felt about that couch. Sadly, I had to go back to dinner and did not get to lie down on said couch. But man, was I fantasizing about that couch for the rest of the meal. Then this morning I was at my endocrinologist's office. As usual, once I was in the room I had a bit of a wait. There was of course the obligatory examination table, you know, nearly flat, kinda narrow, had the annoying crinkly paper on it. I am ashamed to tell you how long I contemplated lying down on the damn thing to take a nap while I waited for her. It was a pretty near thing. So, the take home message here is, anything that's a horizontal surface and looks remotely comfortable, I'm probably thinking of sleeping on it. Or if standing, I'm definitely sitting on it.

Anyway, my baby and my uterus are fighting. One pisses the other off, usually somewhere between 2 and 3 am, and I'm up. For hours. Round and round they go. The baby doesn't like contractions. I can't really blame the baby, I find them uncomfortable myself and only my abdomen is being squeezed, not my entire self. So, the baby's typical reaction to a contraction is to kick that part of the uterus that contracted. So, it contracts again. On and on, all damn night. My sleep has become quite fragmented lately. 'Naps' during the day are really just the other half of my nighttime sleep.

So, if I seem anti-social lately, please do not be offended. I did promise Jeff I would go back to bed after my appointment, and so I am. One promise I am most happy to keep :)

The UnDomestication of a Woman

I'm not entirely sure when it happened. It was a little here and a little there, over a period of time. Some of it can be traced back to when I got ill, some of it when I got pregnant, and the rest? No idea.

The first chore I lost was laundry. This happened shortly after we were married. I've done my own laundry before. Except for sheets and towels, everything else just went into the same load, color or not, delicate or denim. It was a laundry orgy. So early on in our marriage I did the laundry. Those of you who have ever lived with my husband know that he has a particular way of doing things, and convincing him that other methods exist is exhausting. So, to his dismay, I threw all the clothes in together and added the powdered detergent and used cold water as I always did. I'd never used powdered detergent before. It really likes warm water. Unfortunately, I didn't notice this until our clothes came out of the dryer and were crunchy. Needless to say, that was the last time I did the laundry in this house.

Then there's the cooking. That can be traced back to when I became ill. After working all day, my brain would have the consistency of Jell-O that had been left out in the sun all day long. Reading a recipe, assembling ingredients and following directions became a Herculean feat of concentration. It became where I would pick out an easy meal and Jeff and I would work on it together so that I didn't become a puddle of despair on the kitchen floor. Then as I got better, I started cooking again. Enter the first trimester. I couldn't stand the smell, texture or sound of food. Once again Jeff took over kitchen duty. Lately it's a mix of simple meals and Jeff assisting me. I've found out over time, that he makes a great sous chef.

The house keeping in general has also been on a downward slide. Jeff isn't particularly fussy about dust, so that doesn't get done a whole lot. But again, mostly due to the pregnancy, he does all the vacuuming now and any cleaning that warrants any chemical thing stronger than a Clorox wipe. His, stipulations, not mine. I DO care about the cleanliness of our house. I just think I got burned out on it a few weeks ago when I was nesting. I cried because our curtains were dusty. Who does that?

And finally the grocery shopping. We go grocery shopping like a couple of frat boys now. Mostly up and down the cookie, soda and frozen food aisles. I used to spend an hour creating a meticulous grocery list and meal plan for the whole week. The whole week, people! I used to do my grocery lists in a word document and organize the items according to the aisles in our local Safeway. Not anymore. We're lucky if I've jotted a few things down on the list stuck to the side of our fridge. Now we wander around the store and pick up a dozen items that we need and hopefully some one remembers to get more of whatever it is that I'm craving this week.

So, there you have it ladies and gentlemen. You now know my deep, dark secret. I am a stay at home wife who actually does... nothing. Well, at least for a few more weeks...

The Inevitable has happened!

Well, It's finally happened. At approximately 5:22 am I decided that today I would start a blog. Please note that it's taken nearly 12 hours from the time I decided to do it until it actually happened. I can already hear my husbands sighs and see his eye rolls. But you know what? I'm sitting with my feet up and not running around like a whirling dervish cleaning. Which, as my parents are coming over later tonight and as our house looks like, well, it looks like I live here, maybe I should.

Anyway, I noticed the other night while Jeff was looking at his face book home page that nearly a third of the status updates there were in fact mine. I've also been running into the text limit there a lot lately too. And as I seem to have many opinions (I blame the pregnancy), a blog just seemed like a good idea. We shall see how it goes. And I shall try to not flood everyone's home page on FB with 87 updates each day. I consider it a public service. I mean, I think if I was friends with me, I'd ignore myself.

On the pregnancy front: Stick a fork in me, I'm done. Unfortunately, the baby is not. I've still got two more very long, never ending weeks until we hit that magical 37 week mark. I often wonder if I'm going to make it that far as I seem to be having more contractions, especially when I'm out walking. I told Jeff I might just walk to my next ob appointment and see what happens. He was not amused.
Over the weekend Jeff finished getting the nursery together as I diligently helped him. Actually, I took a nap for three hours. But just about everything is in place and we'd be in good shape if the baby came tomorrow.

I've noticed that a lot of people are antsy about the sex of the baby. I wonder many things about the baby, but the gender isn't very high up there. Right now my biggest question is WHEN? When will the baby come? Will my water break or not?

Oh well, signing off for now!