One day last week I was lying in bed and wondering why I was there. The answer was obvious, that I was exhausted and couldn't do anything more. And then I began to wonder why I was letting that stop me from doing the things I wanted to do, from living my life. I realized that yes, I was tired, but I can decide to succumb to it, or push through it. I will grant you, that this attitude is easier on good days than bad, but even on bad days I need to do something.
Last week, thanks to an old acquaintance, I met a new doctor to treat my fibro. He's not a rheumatologist, but a chronic pain doctor. He also has actual fibro patients, I'm not one or two of fibro patients he treats, but about one of thirty he sees weekly. That's a lot of fibro experience. He wasn't happy with or complacent about my treatment either. My first doctor told me that he aims for a 60% recovery for his patients. I've always wondered why he didn't want more for them. This new doctor is willing to try new things, one at a time to see how I react to them. He's also willing to see me more frequently, once a month instead of once every three months. I'm sure that appointments will become farther in-between as the fibro becomes more stable. But he gives me hope, which is more than any other doctor has done so far.
Last week I started yoga again. It wasn't something I was planning on doing, but I got a groupon offer for classes at this studio and they offered some gentle yoga classes. Sometime I think things like that land in your lap for a reason, so I jumped on the offer. The class was definitely more challenging than my lost yoga class, which was mostly done in a chair*. It was hard but not impossible. I left the class sore, but feeling well. I also didn't realize how weak some of my muscles were, which was a good wake up call.
I've been lamenting the shape of the house for weeks, smears on the kitchen floor, crunched cheerios in the carpet, dust everywhere. I began to wonder 'Why can't I have a clean house? Who says it's impossible?". So last night I decide I'd take the house one room at a time and clean it. Thoroughly. So far the upstairs bathroom is done as well as the kitchen. I bought a large wicker bin for the living room to stow some of Doug's larger toys in.** I feel pretty good about what I've accomplished so far and look forward to finishing the job!
Have a great week!
*The last yoga class I did was a therapeutics class, full of mostly older women with various types of arthritis, so many things were done on a folding chair to accommodate that. To be perfectly honest, it didn't really feel like yoga to me. Also, folding chairs are not friendly to fibro type people. Ouch.
**The main toy room is in the basement, but Doug manages to have toys in the living room as well as his room, which got a toy basket long ago. I swear he's taking over the house!