He sleeps with the fishes

Earlier this week I got desperate. Doug would just not sleep in his bassinet. He wouldn't even lay there quietly and contemplate life. I had noticed that he really like to stare at this.



We call it 'The Little Man' because that's kinda what it looks like. It's a night light that's rechargeable and removable from it's base. It has a setting for each of the three primary colors (of light) and one where it uses them and fades from one to the next. He LOVES to watch it fade from one to the other. So as I said, I was desperate. I stacked it on some books so he could see it over the bassinet and put it on the color change mode and voila! Quite and content baby!

So I thought about this development and realized that we could probably procure something more interesting for him to look at, so we got him this.



It's really nice, it has settings for annoyingly restyled classical music and a rain or waterfall sort of noise. We vastly prefer the water noise. The fish of course move, but only in one direction. Luckily the logic of that does not perturb Doug. It plays for 25 minutes; the fish swim with the lights and the music for the first ten. Then the lights dim and the fish stop swimming and the sound still plays. Then for the last 5 minutes it's just the sound which gets quieter. It also come with a handy remote which has become like a snooze button for me when he starts stirring or when the fish stop swimming. Let me tell you, Doug is not so keen about the fish not swimming. Maybe he knows what happens when a fish doesn't swim anymore, I don't know. All I know is that in the middle of the night my hand better find that button OR ELSE! It's also a bit demoralizing to realize that you've watched the fish swim for 40 minutes yourself. I do enjoy the rain sound though, its quite soothing. I had to delay posting this because the fish tank ran out of batteries and Doug just kept staring at it mournfully, trying to will the fish to start swimming again.

Anyway, Happy Friday!

A New Path

I've been toying with this post for a while now, trying to figure out how to best discuss this. I've decided to just be straight up about it. After much deliberation, we've decided to baptize Doug in the Methodist Church. I'm very excited that we've decided to do this, and his baptism is set for mid May.

I have to say, that as an adult, I've been dissatisfied with the Catholic Church (I will refer to it as the Church) for quite some time. I think the real last straw came in January when the priest from our parish was taken away on child molestation charges. The charges were from the '80s, from two different parishes. Now, I know that is certainly not representative of all priests. However in my mind, it was just one more way that the priesthood was failing.

I remember the whole process for getting married in the Church. It was kind of ludicrous. I felt like both Jeff and I and the priest who was marrying us were just going through the motions of the marriage prep meetings we had together. To be honest, the meetings were a complete joke. I can honestly see that some people truly have a need for them, I don't think that the idea is without merit. It's just that meeting with some one who's not married to discuss marriage is a bit, well... unhelpful to say the least. I know that priests are in a committed relationship to God, I get that. However, God doesn't leave the toilet seat up or sleep through the baby crying! I do remember that the priest was deeply concerned with who would make breakfast in the morning. Yes, I'm serious. I don't think we discussed child rearing and the responsibilities involved at all. That being said, I think they should add something about caring for a special needs child. Jeff and I discussed the possibility of it before we got married and again before we got pregnant. I know that it absolutely can't be anticipated, but I think you need to have a dialogue open about the subject. Anyway, for most of it we felt like we were just saying what was expected of us, not how we actually live our lives.

As an adult, I've joined two Catholic Churches. The first one I joined when I started working so I could contribute weekly so that I would be considered a member. This would allow us to be married there. So, when I signed up, what did I get in the mail? Envelopes dated for each week to put my checks in. After we got married we joined a more local church. We got more envelopes in the mail. In mid March we started attending services at a local Methodist church, we left our address with them and I was expecting more of the same in the mail. What we actually got was a letter of welcome from the pastor! Imagine that! We're valued as people, not another source of revenue! I think that right there clearly shows the priorities of the two different organizations.

The other thing about the Catholic Church, is that it's a very 'members only' kind of organization. I do understand that the Church does have some fundamentally different ideas about communion, and that you need to be initiated before you can partake. What I don't understand is why it is SO hard to become a Catholic. It should be harder to get OUT of the Church than IN! So poor Jeff (who is Methodist, I should have mentioned that earlier) just got to sit there for most of the mass. I know he did it because he loves me, but still, its kind of a sacrifice each week. We had discussed the possibility of him becoming Catholic at some point in time, but I knew that he wasn't ready and would unlikely be ready at some point in the near future. When you sign up to become a Catholic as an adult, it's pretty hard core. You have to really want it. It's also evidently hard to become one as an infant. I'm not really sure why. There are classes involved for the parents, and the God parents practically have to have notarized letters from their pastors. I wanted us to be able to fully participate as a family. The Methodists seem to have no such restrictions. If you want to be there, then be there.

And then there's this particular Methodist Church itself. We were told it's one of the oldest Churches in the area. It's very lovely and is located on Main Street. The first time we went there was the weekend before Doug was born. It seems to be a smaller community than most of the Catholic churches I've ever been to, we were immediately recognized as new people. It was an experience unlike one I'd ever had in a Catholic church; people came over to us and introduced themselves! I'd been to many Catholic churches, and this had never ever happened. It left quite an impression on us. When we returned with Doug we got a lot more people to say hello, because well, he's pretty darn cute.

Jeff and I also find ourselves more able to identify with the pastor of this church. He's married and has young children. So he's obviously familiar with the concerns and trials of raising a family. And then there's just his personality, he's very charismatic. He friended us on facebook and we saw that we'd get along like a house on fire. He's into Metallica, Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars. The sermon he gave last week actually involved Star Wars. We were a little disappointed that he didn't do a Yoda voice though.

I find myself looking forward to and enjoying going to church again. I feel renewed each week and challenged to think more about my faith. I enjoy the more open and community prayer aspects of the service, it reminds me of the services before school that Mrs. J led. However, the pastor doesn't call us 'little fatties', lol.

Please don't misunderstand me, I have great respect for those who are Catholic, for anyone who is truly devoted to their faith. The Catholic Church just isn't for me anymore. I find some of their ideas out-dated and frankly hurtful. I'd much rather be a happy Methodist than a lip service Catholic any day.

Super Woman!

Today was the day of many doctor visits. Yay!

This morning we had an impromptu visit to the pediatrician. There's probably a note now in my son's file that I am insane. Last night around midnight he was really fussy and still on this three hour feeding kick. He started really crying for no reason that we could figure out. As last resort, I stuck my finger in his mouth and felt around on his gum. Voila! There was something there! Further inspection revealed the something to be a small, hard whitish bump on his gum where a canine tooth would be. Frantic, I called my Mom and consulted the internet. The internet told me that indeed it could be a really early tooth and my son could be a freak of nature. So we called the doctor's office this morning and they told us to bring him in. The nurse practitioner (I really love NPs, they're my favorite kind of medical professional) took a look and declared it a harmless and painless cyst on his gum that would go away on it's own. She was very kind about it and didn't make me feel like a complete moron. Crisis averted!

Later this morning was my scheduled endocrinologist visit for 6 weeks postpartum. I can usually tell when my TSH (what is measured to determine how your thyroid is working) is high (towards hypothyroidism). I feel like crap when it goes up even a little, I've become quite sensitive to it. I was pretty sure that my thyroid wasn't under-active. I felt really really good. I evidently felt really really good because my thyroid is actually measuring in the hyper zone. I was a little sad that my doctor wanted to cut back my medicine. Hyperthyroidism carries its risks too, however. I think the risks associated with that can actually be more life threatening. Rest assured, my TSH wasn't that low, my doctor wasn't panicked about it. She'd had the results for a few days, so I don't think it was super urgent.

I can usually tell when my thyroid is giving out a lot of juice too. The other day I was standing and rocking Doug and he spit out his pacifier, and I grabbed it in mid air. I've always noticed that I have super human life reflexes when my TSH is low. I also wanted to do a million things when I got home from the hospital. I probably would have repainted the house if I wasn't recovering from surgery. It's a shame I can't take this and save it for later when I can use it. Ah well.

I'm looking forward to Friday night. We've decided to pawn off, er let Doug visit, with my parents for the night. I love him dearly, but it would be nice to just have a peaceful night. A whole night without a little person screaming! I won't know what to do with myself! I'm sure I'll miss him though, probably just enough to pick him up by noon the next day. Maybe Sunday ;)

I think I brushed my teeth...?

So the posts have been a little scanty lately. My in-laws were here visiting from Kansas City for two weeks and left this past Friday. Since then we've been trying to get back into the swing of things and get Doug on a schedule (insert sarcastic laugh here). Even as I type, he's grunting. I don't know why. He's been fed and changed. My only explanation is that he knows when my lap is being occupied by my laptop and not him. But I digest (ahahaha).

While the in-laws were here, they took Doug in the morning, which was heaven. They'd come and get him around 8 so I could enjoy a few hours of delicious, mouth watering, uninterrupted sleep and they could enjoy Doug. I'm pretty sure they've spoiled me. Saturday night and Sunday morning I'm pretty sure I didn't sleep. We decided to just get up and go to the 8am church service as we'd just have to wake up an hour after it anyway to get ready for the 11. We tried to take a nap afterward, but Doug would not have it. Sunday night went very much the same way, and at 7 am, I made Jeff call my mom to come over and watch him while Jeff went to work and I slept. I could barely form sentences at the time, so it was really best that Jeff called. At one point that night I was thinking to myself, "Man, I could really use a sick day. Too bad they don't exist anymore!". So my Mom came and saved the day and I slept so I could be a sane person.

Last night I was better able to cope with Doug, however he's back on a three hour schedule. The child sucks down a 5 oz bottle like he's never been fed before every three hours! I very much suspect he's on another growth spurt. Anyway, so he's been eating every three hours, so let me break that down for you. So, he cries because he's hungry, so I get the bottle and start feeding him (approx 45 minutes). Then, he gets a new diaper (5-10 minutes, depending on diaper contents and the cooperation of the diapee). So that kills almost an hour. Then he's usually up for an hour afterward (so, 2 hours since this whole thing started). He's generally very good when he's up, as long as you don't put him in his bassinet. He will very happily lay next to you, but oh no, don't even think about putting him down, you evil, sadistic person! Then about, 15-20 minutes before he wakes up in earnest, he fusses occasionally. Which means I get about 40 minutes to sleep, assuming I can get back to sleep. So, you can see why, at 7:25 am, when the home owners association started mowing, I nearly lost it.

I called my Mom at 9, and she was able to be over around ten so I could sleep. I intended to only sleep for a few hours, but I woke up and it was 10 of 4! I'm pretty sure I could have slept through anything. Apparently my brother was over too, I was bummed that I missed him. He always raves about how good Doug smells, so I think some one is getting some No More Tears body wash for Christmas! He can be the man your baby could smell like!

The rest of the week is quite busy. I have my 6 week postpartum appointment with my endocrinologist tomorrow, I have a feeling that my thyroid is a little on the low side, but not too much. I've also looked up this local bakery. I'd like to hit them up tomorrow and see if I'd like Doug's baptism cake to be made there. I'm really excited about the possibility of a cake tasting! I read their reviews online, and I had to laugh. My parent's neighbor (who I grew up with) evidently got his wedding cake there and loved it! I'm quite optimistic. Then on Thursday one of my girl friends is coming over to chill out. I really need mindless movie and pizza time.

Friday is my 6 week ob appointment. I have a feeling my Dr. isn't going to be thrilled with my incision. Well, heck, I'm not thrilled with it! It was doing well until about the third week. I hadn't used any of the painkillers prior to then, but I pissed off my incision and it's been angry since then. They tell you not to lift things, exercise or run up and down the stairs. All very obvious things, in my opinion. What they don't tell you is to not jump out of bed, roll over in bed frequently, use your foot to bounce the boncer, rock in a rocking chair or push shopping carts. All very normal, but bad things for recovery! I think it's finally starting to get better, but I have a feeling it'll be another week or two until I'm good as new.

Friday is date night! My parents are going to sit with him. I don't care where we go, as long as we don't have to lug stuff with us!

Anyway, that's all for today.

One Month!

On Monday Doug became one month old. It has been a very educational month. For example, I didn't think we'd have to deal with Catastrophic Diaper Failure (hence forth known as CDF) until he was much older. Most unfortunately, not only has he has several leaky wet diapers, but he had a poopy one leak too. For some reason the child objects to my only nice cotton night gown. It comes out of the wash and quickly returns. I feel like we should wear ponchos, like the ones they hand out at Sea World when you sit in the 'splash zones'.

Doug has also grown so much. It's amazing and heart breaking at the same time. He's really not going to be so little forever! Even my in-laws, who were here for two weeks, were able to witness Doug's growth. When they arrived, he still had some what of a Jell-O neck, his head wobbled side to side. Now he can pretty consistently control it when he's upright. The only time he has difficulty is when he's tired. He's also grown out of some of his onesies and out of his new born diapers. He's also being to become accustomed to bath time. He doesn't flail and scream so much, now he calmly looks around and takes the whole process in.

We've also experimented with his diet a good bit to get his reflux under control. I think we've finally hit on the right combination. Initially, the Dr. put him on a 'spit up' formula which was thicker. Doug liked it, but his digestion wasn't so fond of it, it made the poor guy constipated. We gave him sugar water, which he greatly enjoyed, but it didn't seem to help. Now he's back on his regular formula and takes liquid Zantac three times a day. He doesn't scream when he's fed anymore. Well he does, but only when he's burped because he's obviously not eating when he's burping. He's not in pain though, just impatient!

I think we're more entertained by him than he is by us so far. In the evening he can be quite lively, just cooing at us and trying to check out everything in the room.

I want him to continue to grow, but I think I'm going to miss these days when he's just a little bundle!

I should be sleeping...

But instead I added a widget, thanks to my good friend Anne James, that has my blog post directly to facebook. And that is what I'm doing at 2 am while Doug is in his swing and I'm trying to get the little bugger to sleep. Good Lord, I should be asleep. I dream about sleeping now. I guess it's better than dreaming about having to find a bathroom though!

News Bulletin

The yellow lines on the diapers turn blue when the diaper is wet . Look people, I knew the diapers *probably* did something, but I didn't know what. The other night I was pouring over the packaging looking for information about color changingness when wet. I saw nothing. So, I noted that the line was yellow. Several hours later I noticed it was blue. Hey, I noticed there was a line, but can you expect my sleep deprived brain to remember the color of it? Curse you again pampers for not being explicit! Diapers evidently need directions. Or should only be distributed to parents who have had sleep. That is all. You may go back to your regularly scheduled surfing.